Tempos de Natal

(Track 08 - River)

Windy times. That restless wind brought by the month of December, along with the crowds invading the shopping malls and making all domestic tasks more difficult because of the giant queues and traffic jams. 

Maybe the wind made people more uneasy about themselves. By now, everyone was starting to get somewhat tired of seeing the same four digit number printed on top of all the sheets of the already wore-out calendar. 

December is a time of the year when almost everything seems to be finally falling into place. Things like work, personal projects or relationships usually tend to wait for a time like that,  when matters can be resolved without the guilty feeling of not having given enough time for the problems to look for a solution. December is a time of the year when things can be comfortably left-off where they are, or even completely forgotten while one would give in to the flow of the streets, not without some fear of drowning in the strong currents.

Of course all that is an illusion, for any happy member of the capitalist society knows that things do not have an ideal time of the year to begin or to end, despite what the boss, lover or television would say. Nevertheless, December appears to be a good month to end or begin things. A time as good as any other time of the year, had it not been for its vague sense of closure. A sudden perception that the year is almost over and there’s little time left to fix what still needs repair before the new year starts to show you the uselessness of all your new year’s resolutions. 

Another well-known fact is that when all appear to be settled, there’s always a feeling of incompleteness that haunts the soul and starts an internal movement that could easily be confused with the nasty wind blowing out there in the streets and annoying the shoppers with all those bags and packs. Most of them would come back to an empty apartment and eat a microwave meal while watching the same television show until they fall fast asleep before midnight. Everybody knows shopping is tiresome.

December represents the impossible desire of making a lot of money and then quit this crazy scene. One more month, you think, until you have enough to quit your job, leave your lover and start over doing what you like to do the way you’ve always wanted to do it. Your way. Next month. December couldn’t be better as the last month month of your old life. The timing is perfect.

And then, when your lover begins to cry as soon as you start talking about your plans, all that freedom suddenly vanishes and is quickly replaced by guilt. What an ungrateful person you are, having such a nice job and such a caring lover. What do you take your life for? What do you expect to get with these crazy plans? And just now that you are buying a new apartment. You still have an awful lot of shopping to do. Couldn’t you wait until next year and not spoil the holidays? 

December is a windy time of the year. A perfect time to make a change. That’s your lover talking. You two are so lucky to have found a shop on sale when the prices are going sky-high because of the holidays. And you still have some time until New Year arrives with its promises of happiness and fulfillment. It’s incredible how the streets are busy. It’s almost like a river of people going in all directions at once. It never stops its flow and it makes you want to hold your breath. But it’s so beautiful it also makes you want to say ‘thank you god’ for the crazy world and for its twists and turns. Your lover smiles back at you and says you just have to be cautious not to let the wind make you drop the shopping bags. 

(Da série 10 shades of blue, escrita para o disco Blue de Joni Mitchell)